Craiger's Corner - 2007-11-28 |
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| Good Morning gents, Now that all is right in Cats Land following a decisive victory over an admittedly shorthanded version of the Hungarians, I thought we could all reflect and get a chuckle over the silly turmoil that was building within the team. I still think the infamous rant was both timely and effective to light a fire, however I think if it were just a bit more direct it could have had an even greater impact! With that in mind, I have broken out the 'Craiger' book of translation to help you appreciate the masterpiece of modern art that our fan favourite from the blue created! CAMMY QUOTES! "If I really wanted to play with another team I would. I am quite happy with the Fat Cats and have enjoyed getting a chance to meet and hangout with people I never would have met otherwise. In regards to the various skill levels that comprise our team it is a issue we have to deal with." Translation - it's only a matter of time until I find another team to play with that doesn't have so many flaming-ankled mouth-breathers, and when I do ....hallelujah! "However, we do not play smart hockey and we don't have the most talented team in 'D' or any league or level." Translation - we aren't very bright, very appealing to the opposite sex, and won't likely succeed at anything we attempt in life due to the fact that we undeniably suck at men's league hockey. "The most absurd aspect of me even writing this email is that we are two time defending champions, which either means we are pressure performers or we have been beating shittier hockey teams than us (you decide)." Translation - our championships are a joke and should be stricken from the history books.........and we might as well play in traffic because we undeniably suck at men's league hockey. And my personal favourite.... "Not having a forward line-up consisting of 2 sets of 4 players instead of 2 centres and 3 sets of wingers (that's right I'm basically saying I told you so after that decision cost us 5 goals in the first damn period)." Translation - our management and coaching staff are virgins and couldn't direct themselves through a brothel with a $100 taped to their foreheads. I have forwarded your biblical rants to a friend at the Toronto Sun in the hopes that he too will recognize the legendary skill with which you thrash your fellow man! I see a column of Cammy Quotes in our future - one can dream! Keep 'em coming!! Craiger - president of your column fan club. |
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